The blessing of giving

It has been a crazy week, and I am spent in every aspect, physically and emotionally. I had my semiannual cold, with fever, coughs, runny nose...the whole package. Other unpleasant things also came up, and I am, truly, tired. Those who know me well know that it takes a lot to wear me out, or at least to make me admit that I am tired.

Correction: I was tired. Not anymore.

On Wednesday, the day before my weekly program with Musicians On Call, I debated on whether to cancel it this week. The most obvious reason was that I should not go to the hospital with a cold. The last thing these folks need is to receive a gift of germs from me along with the music. Another reason for not going is that I was tired, irritable, and altogether not in the best of mood to do anything but to stay home and have a pity party with me and myself.

But I hate not doing something I had promised to do--"eat my words", as the Chinese say. More than that, I knew that pity parties never solve anything, as I have had quite a few in the past. The problems always grow bigger, the reasonable part of the brain becomes smaller, until at some point the former completely beat up the latter. The real solution--I have learned--is to turn the spotlight away from my own life and its imperfections and ask, "To whom can I be a blessing today?"

It is amazing the things God can do when we ask for something not for our sake, but for others'. I woke up yesterday refreshed, with a lovely, clear sinus. No more coughing, no more germy nastiness, I was simply ready to roll. There weren't many patients at the hospital last night, but I hope that for the few I was able to play for, their evening was made a little more pleasant. An elderly lady had "a terrible, terrible day", and the music squeezed a little smile from her. A gentleman whose daughter told the guide "good luck, he might bite your head off" when he asked whether her father would like to hear some music sat cheerfully in his wheelchair while I played for him in the hallway.

And my problems? They didn't quite go away...but they were so wimpy when I came home last night that they have been hiding in the closet since then.